Catharsis

by Tamy, 6/10/01

****

"Major Samantha Carter!" The loud, strident, forcefulness- but not shouting- of her name brought the tall blonde up short.

*Short* she thought with a slightly hysterical laugh in her mind.

Taking care to appear nonchalant, she calmly turned to the person who went with the voice. "Yeah, Jan, wassup?" she trilled.

The smaller woman walked up to Sam, reached out a hand and lightly touched the other woman's shoulder, noticing the slight flinch. She didn't even think Sam was aware of those flinches any more. They were so obviously subconcious.

"What's this, Sam?" she gestured at the bandaged arm.

"This? A little accident, that's all. Just had one of your nurses tape me up, why? " Her blue eye's couldn't come to rest on Janet's, not even for a moment.

"Lot of 'accident's' lately, don't you think, hon?" Came the soft question.

"Um, happens." came the softer reply.

"So, Sam," Janet began, Sam looked hopeful that the conversation was shifting to safer topics. Devastated at the follow up, "still seeing that Marine?"

"Off and on," she hedged.

"What, like when he's not *hurting* you, Sam?" Janet found herself dragged into a nearby bathroom, listening with caution at the suddenly hyperventilating Sam. Easing the blonde to the floor, she bent Sam's head down, telling her to breathe.

"Sam," the brunette asked, easing down to look her in in eyes, "what is it with you and guys? You're a strong woman, stronger than a lot of the guys here, but... ya got lousy taste in men, hon."

"Catharsis, Jan," Sam muttered into her clasped hands.

"What?" Janet asked, slightly taken aback.

"Catharsis. I always have to prove myself here, in the Air Force, in public. It's... nice.... it's cathartic for me to just... you know, let someone take over for awhile. Let them do whatever, even..."

"Even what, Sam?"

"Even," *deep breath*, "even if it means losing a little bit of myself some times."

"Sam, I... god. I just don't know what to say. There are better ways to lose yourself than in the likes of *him*." Practically spitting out the last word, Janet took a deep breath herself. Bending slightly forward to rest on her knees, she took the teary, pale face of her best friend in her hands. She wispered, "or Jonas, or any of the others. Hell, *Jack* would have been better for you than them."

"Yeah," Sam giggled in relief, "I could just see Daniel's face if I tried that" Sam exclaimed, Janet joining her in laughter.

Janet got up, walking to the door. Smiling sadly, she turned, "Sam?"

The blonde looked up, "You're off shift at 5. I can meet you then, we'll work on this release of yours tonight. Tell what's-his-name to fuck off, and for *god's sake* tell Jack if he says or does anything."

Turning back around, Janet crouched down in front of the other woman. She bent forward, holding Sam's face again between both hands. Two more inches brought her mouth into contact with the cheeks.

Her tounge snaked out, licking at the tear tracks, kissing the eyes. Turning her face slightly, she gently pressed her lips to the other woman's. When the mouth opened, her tongue slid in, gently, slowly, working it's way around Sam's mouth.

She pulled back. Looking deep into Sam's wide eyes, she wispered, "That, Major Carter, is Catharsis."

Janet pulled back, stood up and turned, walking back to the door. Pulling on the handle, Janet looked back over her shoulder, smiling slightly to herself at the glazed expression in Sam's blue eyes. "Call me when you're ready."

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